I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize