well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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