need another drink. this is the easiest way
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Boobs speak an international language.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Randomize
