If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
