then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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