WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
