And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
