The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I need a beard to bite.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
