I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
