Sober January is a disaster.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize