I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am midnight drunk by noon
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
