My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
