this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
