The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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