The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
