He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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