shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
