She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
there is glitter all over my balls
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
