Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
