I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
