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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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