I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
