My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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