we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
