i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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