I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
