you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
