Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
