I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
