are you so shy because you have an std?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
