Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
even my farts smell like vagina
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
