p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
