It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
