He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
