Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
