gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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