i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
