before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize