my mouth tastes like poor choices
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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