I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
