When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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