It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Holy sore nipples Batman
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
