btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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