i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
