My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
