I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
