Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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