there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
