yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
