I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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