His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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