trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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