I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize