we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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