You're completely useless in the revolution.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
