This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
