Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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