i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
