That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
