I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
