Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
