apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
