I can feel you judging me through the phone.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
