Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
