yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
