I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
