I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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