i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
