scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
