Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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