It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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