Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
