So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
birth control should be required to get into college
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
