watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
