Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
this hospital has no fireball
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