This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize