You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
