We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
