Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
