I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
